The Story of "Go Forward"

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This is my second full length album and I couldn't be more proud. I work meticulously on my lyrics so hopefully the songs speak for themselves, but for the rabid fans who want to go deeper, here's a little more about each song and the writing process behind it. The album was recorded in about a year, most notably at Overdub Lane in Durham, NC, and mixed at The Kitchen in Carrboro. Huge thank you to Jason Merritt, the recording engineer who co-produced the album with me. Thanks also to all the fantastic musicians and vocalist who lent their super powers in creating this record, in particular the lovely and talented Crystal Bright. Big thanks also to my friend Amanda Ward for her top notch photography, and to Kristin Fowler for handling the graphic design chores. Finally, thank YOU for listening, and if you enjoy the music please share it with a friend. Let's take it forward together.

Overdub Lane: http://www.overdublane.com/
Crystal Bright & The Silver Hands: http://crystalbrightandthesilverhands.com/
Amanda Olson Photography: http://www.amandaolson.net/
KFowler Design: http://www.kfowlerdesign.com/

Last Ride

There's something special about a man and his first car. Many of you remember Ellie, the 2000 Dodge Neon I drove for over ten years. We traveled across the country, shared crazy adventures, hauled an awful lot of gear, and played countless shows. My heart broke the day she was wrecked in the rain on I-40 in Durham, North Carolina. What better way to send her off than kicking off an album with an in-your-face anthem to lost love and tragic loss. The chorus sums it up: "You will always be my one and only. I can't believe that we now have to say goodbye. It's time to set you free, gone but not forgotten, and this is how we say goodbye." (Yes, that line is about a car. Don't judge me.)

Mirror Sings

None of us are getting any younger. As day's turn into weeks and weeks into years, the dreams we held as children run farther and farther away. This song is about asking ourselves the hard questions no one can avoid. What are we doing with our time here? What are we working towards, and what will we leave behind? Staring into the mirror, we quietly sing a song filled with questions, an early morning hymn of confession. And whether we hear it or not, the mirror does respond, even if the answer is simply, "I don't know." The chorus is a reflection on whether the things we chase after or build our lives on can satisfy: "Because you try, you say, every time and every day. You can't win but you can't get out. If you can't buy more things, if this is not a wedding ring, tell me then what it's all about." So... what are you building your life on?

Go Forward (Rachel's Song)

I've thought long and hard about what I want my message to be. This is it. A song I wrote years ago to encourage a friend has become the focal point of my music. Time, relationships and the endless fight to make it tear through all of us sooner or later, taking pieces of our spirits with them. We live with pain, we carry loss, and horrors are committed against us and BY us. But sometimes, when nothing we do can change things, the only comfort to be found are the simple words, "You're not alone." Just knowing that someone else understands our struggle and stands with us can make all the difference. This is my message, and the best encouragement I can offer you. Despite it all, I truly believe that God cares. God mourns, hurts and stands with us right in the middle of the worst of life, and we can go forward together, seeking after Him and leaning on each other. "Always remember that you're not alone. It's OK to cry and wonder why, but you're not on your own."

Have Nots

This was a quick, easy song to write, which was a nice change. Normally I have to slave over my lyrics for days, sometimes weeks. But this one was up and done in about ten minutes. The recording was a lot of fun to make although it did take me a while to get the harmonica part right. Fun fact? All of the "drum" and percussion sounds you hear are random things we found around the house. A cardboard box as the bass drum, a coffee mug as a cowbell, a bottle of peppercorn seasoning from the kitchen as a shaker. Jason Merritt, who co produced the album, called them "found sounds," a spontaneous idea he had to enhance the backyard, do-it-yourself message of the song. "Some people have a little, some people have a lot. Some people ain't got nuthin', some can't remember all they've got. Will we ever be even between the haves and have nots?"

Run Away With Me

Now here's a tough song. It was tough to record, it's tough to perform, and even hard to listen to sometimes. I've been in love exactly one time in my life, and this is the song I wrote for her while we were still together. Literally every lyric is something that happened or was said during the relationship. At the time I couldn't have imagined the relationship ending, and when it did it crashed me pretty hard (which is the story behind the song "Plan A," later on the album). Still, I'm very proud of this song and the way it came out. Its a bitter sweet love ballad that I'm glad I got to write and experience. The title is a play on words that makes sense in the chorus: "Now I can never go back to how life used to be, 'cause you've run away with me, baby."

Ruin

Maybe I should have called it "Things Fall Apart" instead. This was the last song I wrote for the album, and it's about me wrecking a long standing friendship due to negligence, poor timing and outright stupidity. Relationships are fragile things, and I've never been as careful with them as I should be. We all make mistakes, and we all fall short of the glory, but the sad truth is I'm just a lousy friend sometimes. Hopefully I'm not alone. I'm very grateful for all the friends who have put up with me over the years. If I've ever said or done something to tick you off, this song is for you. Thanks for sticking around.

Wishful Thinking

You're as guilty as I am. You may not think so, but we do it all the time in subtle ways. "I wish I were rich." "I'd love to be a few inches taller." "She's so pretty/thin/smart/popular, I hate her." "I want to be ___ like that." "I'm so jealous of ___." "I wish I wasn't _____." We see what other people have or can do, and we think less of ourselves because of it. It can range from over-zealous admiration to full blown jealousy. Or we find ourselves listing and obsessing over all the things we would change about our lives. And while we should always strive to be the best we can be, there's a fine line between self improvement and wishing we were someone else. This song is me thinking through three stages of things about my life I often find myself wishing I could change. In the chorus I return to the knowledge that most of those changes may or may not really be for the better, and that what I "want" may not be as important as the faith that, as my dad always says, things happen for a reason. What's the old saying? Grant us the courage to change what we can, the grace to accept what we cant, and the wisdom to know the difference. Or, to quote the bridge: "All this wishful thinking is getting me nowhere. It seems like all of the right things are out of my hands."

Everybody Knows But You

I call this song my ode to cluelessness. We all have blind spots in our personalities, bad habits we can't shake, or reoccurring situations in our lives that are baffling to us but obvious to everyone else. This song is me poking good-natured fun at myself and others as we bear with each other, while searching for the best way to tell someone to clue in. And while I may have had one or two specific people in mind while writing this song, rest assured I'm definitely calling myself out on the bridge. Big shout out to all the folks who added random lines of dialogue and chatter to the mix to help lighten the mood and keep things fun. The chorus says it all: "Everybody knows but you. Hate to tell you that it's sad but true. Tell me, what's a guy supposed to do? It won't sink in, you won't let it. You really don't get it."

Plan A

You have a plan for your life. You set goals, form a strategy and are cruising right along. Then something happens, something wonderful and amazing that's worth altering course. Maybe its a new job, or a new house. Maybe its a new relationship or the chance of a life time. Whatever it is, its a big enough deal to abandon the old plan in favor of the new. So you go all in, all your eggs in the basket thinking "This is it. This is my future. Let's do it." Then the unthinkable happens. The plan fails. The job falls through. The money doesn't come through in time. The marriage falls apart. It "just doesn't work out" for whatever reason, and you're left with the remains of the life you bet everything on, a life that just got up and walked away. And with the anger, pain, and sadness comes the unavoidable question, "NOW, what??"
This song is about what happens when you've come so far from the person you were, that you can't even remember what the original plan was? What happens when there IS no going back, and you can only go forward, but forward to what?? "Where do I go, what can I say, as all those dreams get washed away? I guess it's back to Plan A."

The Box You're In

I've literally been writing this song for about 12 years. It's taken that long to get the pieces rattling around in my head to fit together. The theme here is simple: My idea of God is too small. And so is yours. So is everyone's. Whatever we think we know about God, it is TOO SMALL. Because the reality of how enormous and beautiful, how terrifying and endless that being is quite simply MUST be infinitely bigger than anything we can imagine. It would have to be. He's GOD. He wouldn't be much of one if He fit neatly into our way of thinking. But so often we limit what He can do in our lives by thinking we've got Him figured out. As it is written, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them? For from him and through him and to him are all things."

We can NEVER know enough about God. No matter what faith we claim or religion we subscribe to, we should never stop learning about Him, and learning FROM each other. We should never stop seeking and listening and reaching. He's bigger than that. He's bigger than everything. "You just won't fit into the box I keep you in. You're so much more than what we let you be."